The Burning Thought
by ImmA-steGOsaurus
Summary: Natsu Dragneel, tenth grader at Fairy Tail Academy, is a victim to bullying. Ever since his secret was spilled, a group of bullies named the Raijinshuu, has grown more fond of their victim and has been targeting him even more than usual. Natsu has never felt more unwanted in his life, and depression takes over. Will someone save the sad pink haired boy or will depression take over?
1. Prologue

Imagine; you're in love with someone, for a long time. But they don't love you back, nor do they know you love them or exist.

Can you relate?

Of course you can't.

Why?

Simply because you aren't in the same situation I'm in.

But first, let me introduce myself: Natsu Dragneel; Tenth grader at the Fairy Tail Academy. I'm not the brightest student, nor am I the dumbest. There's one thing about me that make others either loathe me even more than they already do, or just pick me out as their number one victim. And that one thing is that I'm gay.

Now, your probably going to ask: _What does this have to do with being in love with someone?_

Well, actually, everything.

You see, Fairy Tail Acedemy is a really big and the top high school in Magnolia. It probably holds more than a thousand people here. Out of all those people, there's a certain droopy-eyed teen, a year ahead of me. He's one of the most popular and hottest guys in our school, along with Laxus, Loki, Gajeel (a transfer from Phantom Lord) and others. Girls adore him and would practically kill to be his girlfriend, especially a girl named Juvia Lockster (also a transfer from Phantom Lord).

You see, everyone is this school is ranked by popularity and how may girls (or guys, if your a girl) would want to date you. On the guys side we have Gray, Laxus, Loki and Gajeel. On the girls side, we have Mirajane and Erza, along with Cana, Juvia and Lucy.

According to popularity standards and what people think of me, I'm probably near the bottom of the chart. To be honest, I don't even have many friends. The only people that actually like being near me is Lucy, Lisanna, Wendy, Romeo and my cat, Happy. Sure, Happy's just my pet and waits for me at home while I'm at school, but he's like a friend to me – no wait, family – and always has been there for me when no one else cared. After all, I do live alone.

The girls have their own friends, too, so they'll either be with me or their own friends. Romeo is pretty popular in his grade (Ninth grade) and everyone likes being around him. But he chooses to be alone, most of the time. Sometimes he'll see me alone and join me, on the roof; I don't mind. To be honest, I'd rather he sat there quietly, like he usually did, then be up there alone and be caught by Laxus.

Yeah, about Laxus...

He's...strong...and scary... Probably one of the only guys I'm actually scared of in this school; him and his gang the Raijinshuu, as they like to be called. All together, their all four people: Laxus (The leader), Bixslow, Freed and Evergreen. A bunch of bullies, they are. They target anyone weaker and smaller than they are, and go around teasing, tripping and shoving them in the halls or on the school ground. And one of those targets is me.

They've been picking on me since the day I joined this school, and I've always been their favourite victim. Whenever I walk down the halls, they'll walk by and trip me or knock my stuff over. Once they've even held me up against a locker and hurt me. I didn't show up to school for almost an entire month, after that, until Lisanna came over and reassured me that the principal made sure they wouldn't do that again. Ever since then I've been more cautious and aware of my surroundings. But ever since someone spilled my secret of being gay, it's been harder to avoid being caught by them and being chased out of school. I can't even go to the bathroom without finding either Bixslow or Freed standing inside.

It's getting so much harder to avoid them...

Sometimes, when I see them, I drop everything and run. They chase me, laughing and calling me names. I practically have to bite my lip to hold back the tears. If I'm lucky, I'll out run them or find a place to hide until they leave. But sadly, only occasionally does that ever happen. Most of the time, they'll find me or grabbed my arm and shove me against a locker, before I can escape.

On my worse days, they'll abuse, hurt me and they won't stop until I beg and cry. Once, even, they did this in front yard of the school during lunch. Everyone watched as I screamed and cried for help, but no one moved a muscle. They just stood there and watched.

Sometimes, when they finally let me go, I crack open my teary, bruised eyes and see _him_ walk by with his friends. And I swear, he even glanced my way! But he didn't say or do anything, he just watched, like the rest of them...

If only I was stronger... If only I could fight back and stand up for myself; tell them to go away, and go fuck themselves! If only...

I realize now that, I will never escape them and no one will ever try to help me. I will always be their puppet and be abused by them, while everyone else just watches and laughs at my weakness. I realize that nothing will ever change. It's been like this since I've joined this school and it will always, **always**, continue to be like this...forever.

**It's never going to stop!**

If only I weren't so damn small and weak.

If only I could raise my voice and be heard.

If only I could run a mile and hide far, far away.

If only I could just disappear from this cruel world.

If only... If only I weren't born!


	2. Chapter 1

_SLAM!_

Hot, fresh new tears poured from my pained eyes and fell to the floor. My feet wobbled as I tried to get back up, but was kicked back down. I yelped at the pain on my side as he kicked me again.

Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this kind of life?

Hysterically, they laughed. They laughed at my pain, my misery and they didn't care; they didn't care who saw. They just wanted to make me cry, beg and feel miserable. And it hurt to know that my existence was despised so much. That I was no more than a worthless piece of trash on the ground.

I lift myself up with my arms, coughing and trying so hard to stop the tears from falling.

Suddenly I felt a yelped as I felt sheer pain on my head. I crack my eye open and bit my lip. My hands reach up and feel the strong arms clenching and yanking onto my pink hair. I hiss as the leader of the group yanks harder, slowly pulling me up to my knees.

"Get up, bastard!" His deep, threatening voice echoed through my ears, making me whimper.

His three friends stood behind him, snickering and tittering in spite of my misery. I held back my tears, even though the scorching pain on my scalp was fatal as hell! I felt the hot, wet, and metallic taste of blood spill in my mouth as bit right through the skin of my lip. I winced at the pain and closed my eyes as tight as I could, whimpering as Laxus pulled on my hair, again.

"I said get up, fucktard!"

The warm and wet feeling of tears was once again sliding down my pained face. I did as he told me and wobbled and stumbled to get up. It was hard, especially since both my hands held onto the strong, large hands clenching my pink hair.

I crack a teary eye open and stare up at my perpetrator. A smirked played on his devilish face.

I whimpered and tried to speak. My throat was dry, and my voice was rasp as I tried to say something; anything, to make them stop!

"P-please...L-let me go. I-it h-hurts..." I cursed in my mind as I felt hot tears brimming my swollen eyes, again.

Those scary orange eyes glared at me like as if I just asked for both his kidneys.

Suddenly there was laughter heard behind him by one of his gang members; Bixslow.

"Laxus, _please,_ why don't you let the _poor_ fag go." The two others standing next to him sniggered and laughed along as he mocked me.

I felt so horrible and wanted to just die, at that very moment.

The scary blond grinned wildly before laughing himself. "It'd be my pleasure."

I was suddenly yanked off the ground and was screaming at the top of my lungs. Laxus had lifted me two feet off the ground by my. I begged and cried, holding onto his arm for support, but at the same time trying to get him to let go.

Tears fell from my face, faster and faster. I felt so humiliated!

The entire gang laughed and poked fun at me.

"Look at that faggot!"

"He's so weak!"

"Bastards like him should just give themselves up to us."

"He's so much fun to mess with."

My eyes were tightly shut as I whimpered and trembled. My throat had become so dry and rasp that it hurt when I cried.

I prayed in my head for all this to stop...For someone, anyone to save me. I now regret staying behind after school, when I knew it was risky staying here any longer, especially when the Raijinshuu hung around here after school, searching for any victims left behind so they could pick on them. And sadly I was their victim today...

"Hey! What do you kids think your doing!?" I weakly, opened an eye and looked over to see a teacher standing at the entrance of the hallway. "You four are in big trouble!"

"Shit! Boss, drop the wimp and lets jet!" Bixslow was the first to react.

Before I knew it, Laxus had released his grasp on my hair and dropped me. I fell to the ground with a _'Thud!'_ I hissed at the pain and struggled to sit up.

"Quick! Let's get out of here." The four members of Raijinshuu had begun to run in the opposite direction, out of the school, to avoid being caught by the teacher.

I coughed and choked slightly, trying to breath properly. But it was hard to when your throat is dry as hell and your body is shaking and trembling like crazy.

"You inconsiderate brats! I'll get you one day."

I look up at the teacher, with one eye open, still trembling. Her hair was a similar colour to mine, and she wore a grumpy look on her face. I knew who she was; she mostly ran the nurses office but worked in one class as a Home Ec. Teacher. She was known as Porlyusica-sensei. She hated working in this school, and especially hated the _'brats'_ that went here, but like she'd told me many times,_"I only work here because I need the money. Otherwise I would've quit this blasted job years ago!"_

I weakly sit up against the locker, still trembling. I look away as I wipe the tears and blood off my face.

I heard a familiar groan and sigh; Porlyusica-sensei. "You really got to be more careful and stay away from those kids."

She walked over to me and took a knee and sighed. "They really messed you up this time. Your face is covered in tears, your eyes are swollen and red, your lips bleeding terribly and your clothes are a mess!"

I just looked down in shame, and rubbed my swollen eyes. They hurt from all the crying.

"Natsu...Why do you let them do this to you?"

I closed my eyes and didn't respond.

_Why_ do I let them? Why don't I stand up for myself? The question roamed through my mind, searching for a good answer but my answer was no where to be found.

When I didn't respond, Porlyusica-sensei sighed and grabbed my hand, but I don't move a muscle. "Natsu, I can't save you all the time. And the day I'm not there, they won't hold back and they'll do a number on you. What will you do then?"

I felt a tear fall from my face as I finally looked up at her.

"I-I don't know..." My voice cracked as I spoke.

Porlyusica looked at me with a frown and sighed. "Come on. Let's get you fixed up."

I grabbed her hand as she helped me stand up. I staggered in place as I attempted to walk. My feet felt so numb and it hurt to walk. By the time we reached the infirmary, I had collapsed on the bed that sat close to the door. I groaned at the pain before sitting up for Porlyusica-sensei to do her job.

There was silence amongst us. Neither one of us spoke or made a noise, as she worked away at cleaning up the bruises and wounds.

I slightly hissed and squirmed when she dips the cotton ball in some liquid and pats it, gently, on my wounds and my swollen eye. It stung, a lot!

I winced, and watched with one eye cracked open.

Once I was use to the strange medicine cleaning and healing my wounds, my body began to relax, once again.

Although, the stinging pain was gone, my mind was still filled with painful memories and thoughts. I looked at the floor, with sadness, and frowned. I held back the urge to cry and just stared blankly at the floor, thinking.

What did I do to deserve this?

I'm so frightened that I can barely even sleep at night, anymore. I fear that if I close my eyes for even a second, someone will try to suffocate or harm me while I'm asleep. I get nightmares of being beating up so bad, that I'm left crying in my own pool of blood, while the world points and laughs at me.

What did I do to deserve such a horrible life?

Why can't I live a normal life, like the others?

Why can't I just be a normal kid, like them?

I bit my lip as Porlyusica grabbed my bruised and, probably, sprained or broken arm, and moved it around slightly to test if it was broken or not.

The pinkish-haired woman sighed and wrapped the arm with a tensor bandage and gave me and ice pack. "By the looks of it, I doubt you've actually _broken_ a bone. Their mostly just bruises, cuts and mild injuries; maybe a sprain in your arm. But, I suggest you go see a doctor, anyways, just to make sure your perfectly healthy, otherwise."

I simply nod, and place the given ice pack on my right arm. Boy, good thing I'm a lefty.

"Natsu, tell me one thing. Why do you let those kids push you around? Why don't you stand up to them, or tell someone? It's not safe or wise to stay quiet forever. I won't always be around to save you, and if they don't stop their foolish actions, they may end up hurting you bad enough that no amount of surgery or therapy will be able to restore you." Porlyusica serious, and slightly caring, voice made me tense up.

I remained quiet, and restrained myself from trembling.

Porlyusica-sensei looked me up and down, and shook her head with a sigh. She mumbled something to herself, before turning her back to me, putting stuff away, and asking something. "Natsu, please try to understand. I'm not your enemy, and I just want to help you. If you keep quiet like that, how can I help you?"

I clench my pants and closed my eyes. I held in the tears, and opened my eyes as I finally spoke. "I'm sorry, Porlyusica-sensei..."

The pink-haired woman turned around and looked at me. She waited patiently as I continued.

"I...I don't know what I did to make everyone, especially them, to target me. I've never done anything to make them hate me...I've always just minded my own business...I-I don't know why they do this to me..." I couldn't hold the tears back, and hiccuped. "They always push me around and make fun of me...and ever since people found out I was...you know...gay...they-they won't leave me alone.."

I rub my eyes and wipe my tears, trying to stop the crying, but that was impossible now. I hiccuped, once again before continuing. "I-I'm just too weak to fight back, and-and I guess, I'm just too scared to speak up...I-I fear they might hurt me, even more, if I-I say something..."

I felt a warm hand touch my shoulder. I uncover my face, to look up at the woman in front of me.

"Natsu...Unlike the other brats in this school, I actually care for your well-being. Please, be strong and try to speak up. If they hurt you again, I swear to god, I won't spare them!"

A smiled formed on my face as she said that. I wiped my tear eyes and look back up at her. "T-thank you, Porlyusica-sensei."

Then, the most, unimaginable thing had happened. Porlyusica-sensei smiled.

This was probably the first, and only time, I've ever seen Porlyusica smile. She's never smiled towards anyone or anything, ever. And it warms my heart to know I've made her smile.

I'll never forget this moment ever.

"I promise you, all you this will end soon, Natsu."

"Thank you, Porlyusica-sensei."


End file.
